How to be insulting without being rude
Some classic examples of the polite insult from F E Smith KC:-
- Judge: Are you trying to show contempt for this court, Mr Smith?
Smith: No, My Lord. I am attempting to conceal it.
- Judge: Have you ever heard of a saying by Bacon — the great Bacon — that youth and discretion are ill-wedded companions?
Smith: Yes, I have. And have you ever heard of a saying of Bacon — the great Bacon — that a much-talking judge is like an ill-tuned cymbal?
- Smith (to witness): So, you were as drunk as a judge?
Judge (interjecting): You mean as drunk as a lord?
Smith: Yes, My Lord.
- Master of the Rolls: Really, Mr Smith, do give this Court credit for some little intelligence.
Smith: That is the mistake I made in the Court below, My Lord.
- Judge I’ve listened to you for an hour and I’m none wiser.
Smith: None the wiser, perhaps, my lord, but certainly better informed.
F E Smith went on to become Lord Chancellor of Great Britain (as the 1st Earl of Birkenhead).
Source of quotes: Wikiquote
